Writer's Block

  "Writing doesn't have to be so difficult," I told the student who has  difficulty completing writing assignments for his English class.   "You don't necessarily have to stick to the facts when you are writing a journal type entry.  You're free to elaborate, exaggerate, or even fabricate your thoughts and experiences.  The point of the assignment is to develop your writing skills, not to describe actual events."  He listened to my advice, and answered, "Yeah, I get it, I'll just write a bunch of crap."   For this I get paid----but not very much.

Glamor and Crud

The Red Carpet at the Oscars----a parade, no, a contrived modeling venue for attractive  actresses clad in expensive designer gowns.  For us viewers, a study in beauty, the panorama of success and good fortune.   Except the vision is marred by the actresses themselves, who voluntarily destroy the illusion so sought after by the designers and fashion houses.  We hear one gorgeous specimen say she is feeling dehydrated as she could not drink anything because her gown is so fitted she is not able to pee while wearing it.  Another complains of not being able to breathe because the Spanx she needs to wear under her dress is compressing her insides.  The word "bloated" is freely cast around: it seems eating has to be suspended for at least several days before the Red Carpet walk.  Most will not sit while wearing the dress, either because the dress won't allow that movement, or wrinkling will destroy its appearance.  The stances are tortuous exercises of posing to display desired portions of side boobs, errant nipples, cleavage and thighs.  The choice of shoes is another factor in the flawed illusion of beauty: with public displays of hobbling, tripping, stumbling, and falling, few would aspire to emulate what appears on that red carpet.  Appearance is the presumed feature of the night, but bodily functions prevail.

Malignant Analogy

According to the latest edition of Consumer Reports, there are 8 cancer screenings which are useless, or worse, harmful, at least in asymptomatic patients.  I haven't read the article as yet, so perhaps I'm not qualified to judge, but my understanding is that early detection via cancer screening does not save lives in the cited 8 types of cancers.  The basis for that reasoning is that cancer takes time to grow, and finding it by screening tests will not prolong lives, as the cancer  will proceed at its own rate anyway;  screening for early detection just adds that much "cancer time" to the lives of the afflicted.  Think of it this way:   the cancer patient is tied to the railroad tracks, where a train is destined to bear down on her or him.  The cancer treatment available at the present time is akin to handing the bound-to-the-track patient a pair of binoculars. That allows the cancer patient to see further down the track, giving more time  to dread what's approaching.  For if cancer takes 10 years to develop enough to take your life, but is only apparent for the last 3 years, detection by modern screening may make a diagnosis possible  very early, and the person would have an additional 6 or 7 years to be a cancer patient.
       I would advise Consumer Reports that whatever funding went into reaching this depressing  conclusion might be better served if that money were directed toward researching a cure, or at least better treatment methods.  Open up that Silver Linings Playbook, so to speak.  Life is tough enough. Comparing refrigerators is not the same as determining life expectancy.

Ortho Oh, no!

Northeast Orthopaedics has recently merged with Orthopaedic Associates of Saratoga under the new name of OrthoNY.  I've heard of Ortho Weed Killer and Ortho Pest Control, both Scott's products, so I wouldn't have expected the Ortho name to be usurped by bone and joint doctors, but it's probably not an infringement as long as the NY is added.  I don't know; let the lawyers handle that part of it.  But still, the connotation is not very appealing, is it?

You Tube at 4:00 A.M.

I'm not sure if I'm awake or asleep, but I don't think the mid-night hours are a good time to be researching on YouTube.  I was trying to re-acquaint myself with Willie Nelson songs.  He was never a favorite of mine personally, but I know and have known people who greatly admire him.  So I listened to the songs that have been selected for a coming memorial service, and used half a box of Kleenex in the process of hearing them.  I'm still a little out of my mind, but did Willie Nelson really record a song called "Ride'em Jewboy,"  and how did his  singing of "Night Life" come to be accompanied by  a cover of that song by Charles Manson?  

Geocaching

   I really don't quite get the concept.  If I were to call you a geocacher, would you be flattered, insulted, mystified?

Help, Help Me, Honda!

  It happened again---I was trapped inside my car.  This time it was in my own driveway.  I'd gone to get some groceries, came home, turned off the ignition, and tried to open the door.  It was locked.  I pressed the Unlock button on the panel, nothing.  I tried the door handle again, still locked.  I retrieved the keys from my purse and pressed the Unlock symbol on the key, nothing.  But wait--something---the panic alarm began to sound with no apparent way to stop it; I tried all the symbols on the key.  I remained locked in my car with the alarm sounding. Finally, I inserted the key in the ignition, started the engine, and the alarm stopped, and the door unlocked.  I suppose I'm destined to have to read all those instructions as to key-lock options, several pages at least.  Or else drive to the Honda dealer, and plead for mercy.  I may be unversed on modern automobile technology, but why in the world would there be a feature where the front driver's door remains locked from the INSIDE when the ignition is off?  Who would opt for that?  I'll need to keep  a hammer handy just in case.  Default setting, anyone.