Nothing is simple anymore...is it?

     Yesterday, on a Wednesday, after my chores and responsibilities at home were taken care of, I drove to Clifton Park to see if I could do a little shopping.  I knew it could be an aimless pursuit but thought I might find inspiration through browsing.  I walked into a few of the smaller storefront shops, but left empty-handed. Then down the sidewalk a bit to Marshall's.  It was super-crowded at mid-day in mid-week.  Giving up on inspirational purchases, I got in my car and drove to Joseph A. Banks.
    I was interested in buying a sweater.  A single sweater.  One.  The sweaters were on a shelf, front and center of the store.  I know the store is rather pricey; the pricetag says  $109.  That is for one sweater, but wait.  The sign on the display reads, "Buy One, Get Two Free."   The last time I saw that type of deal was at Price Chopper, and I ended up paying full price for each of two English muffins because I had picked up only 2 packages instead of the 3.
  I'm anxious to buy something, so my rare day of shopping won't be a complete waste, so I have this thought.  I'm not sure of what size sweater to buy, so if I buy two  different sizes, one should fit, and the other could be returned.  I'm not even thinking about the third sweater by now.  I don't want to do anything even borderline sneaky, so I share this strategy with the clerk, and ask what the return policy would be.  She said the refund should be one-third of the price I paid, and she would give me gift receipts.  That seems okay with me, so I say I'll take the deal--3 sweaters, 2 sizes.  As she's checking me out, she asks me if I want to enroll in their customer-some-program-or other.  I politely decline, saying maybe some other time.
    Another salesman approaches the desk.  The store is not busy at all, with only one other person there, possibly a customer, or maybe an employee. He  sees my charge of $118 being rung up on the register, and says if I spend another $25, and enroll in the program, the last purchase of the $25 will be free.  All I have to do, he tells me, is provide my name and address.  OK, I say, and give that information.  Now, what can I buy in this store for $25?  I knew the answer to that.  The helpful rep showed me to the socks display.  The lowest three-pack of socks sold for $34, but since they were on sale for $24, I would need to buy two packs to qualify for the free $25.  By now, I probably would have bought the Brooklyn Bridge, so I'll take 2 packs, I tell him.
   My 3 sweaters are on the front counter where the first rep has neatly folded them.  The second rep brings the 2 packs of socks to the same area.  While I submit my credit card (that damn erratic chip), the second rep puts my purchases into one of their large shopping bags, and slides 5 gift boxes into another of the shopping bags.
    I put the 2 large shopping bags into the trunk of my car, and I'm so exhausted when I get home, I just leave them there.  I look at my receipt.  I paid $119.38 for 3 sweaters and 6 pairs of socks.  The receipt reads, "You saved $251.60."  That's not too bad, I tell myself, even if SNL does make  fun of it. And if they don't work out as gifts, I have receipts: gift receipts and original.
    This morning, I woke up early and retrieved my purchases from the trunk of my car.  One shopping bag held the 3 sweaters and the 2 packages of socks.  The second shopping bag held the 5 gift boxes, and, at the bottom of the bag, a pair of jeans with the pricetag of $89 and a plaid shirt with pricetag of $79.  I will return  them, but not until my next trip, I'll tell them.