The Color of Research

Last year a body of research was being touted by the local media, television and newspapers, as a potential breakthrough in medical practice. Actual funding was spent on this breakthrough----a simple matter of having hospital gowns matched to the color of the patients' skin, so the examining physician, in possession of a baseline complexion tone as presented by the color of the afore-matched gown, would be able to detect any variation in skin color, which would be an invaluable aid in diagnosing the patient's ailment. So the patient would probably need a gown for each season, as many complexions vary with the amount of sun exposure. The match-up to skin color is bound to be very tricky and difficult to synchronize, as anyone who has ever tried to match paint colors would testify. Did you ever realize how many different shades of white there are, not to mention beige or tawny or ecru or ivory, or tan or brown? Manufacturing and dyeing of these gowns is bound to be be an involved and painstaking process, and designating and labeling a monumental task. What is your normal complexion color---check your foundation color in the cosmetic department and have that translated into a number; if not your face that is to match the gown, choose a body part you want to display. Tanning booths or spray tans would have to be reported to the examining doctor as well. Oh, don't forget to note that winter trip to Florida. And you women, be sure to remove your makeup in case your doctor color keys your gown to your face. I don't know how many gowns each patient would need for seasonal variations in skin color. And where would the gown be kept, by the patient or stored by the medical facility the patient is treated at. As far as laundering goes, the gowns certainly couldn't be bleached, or washed with a very strong detergent. If you've ever had occasion to don one of the gowns for a medical procedure, you're sure to have seen the various degrees of fading exhibited in the stack of gowns. I don't know about most doctors, but I and many of my acquaintances have visited doctors who barely have the time or the inclinaton to read through patient records. I can't even imagine a doctor's visit where the doctor would scrutinize the patient's skin color and compare the color to that of the gown to see if there has been any change. If indeed there is a notceable change, severe pallor or flushing would most likely be evident anyway. But I can only imagine a doctor's saying: "Your skin color seems to be several shades different from the color of your gown. You should probably undergo a blood test. Either that, or you need to buy a new gown."