J'accuse

QUESTION (under oath):   "Have you ever used the N-word?"
ANSWER (also under oath):  "Even now, I shudder at the very thought of anyone, at any time, ever having used that word.  I believe I must have had some familiarity with the usage of the word, due to the time I lived in,but uttering it is so heinous that I shrink from the memory of ever having heard the word, not to mention ever having  voiced the syllables.  The use of such a term to deliberately denigrate a noble race of people causes my mind to withdraw from any knowledge of such extreme intolerance.  And if others ever did so speak, I can only prevail upon Our Lord to forgive them, for they knew not what they did.  And I answer your question honestly, fully aware of the oath I've taken.   (Um, there are no recordings from back in the day, are there?)

A Matter of Perception

 I think Aaron Hernandez stands a better chance of rehabilitating his image than does Paula Deen.   After all, he's only accused of murder, not bad taste.  My advice to all accused----Deny, deny, deny!   And never apologize, especially if you're elderly, overweight, wealthy, and not a member of a minority. 

The Long and the Short of It

This year, at last count, I have seen 14 medical professionals, not counting the physical therapists.  Eleven are male and three female.  I am of average height, but 8 of them are shorter than I am with 4 being taller, and 2 whose height I'm not sure of. Both of them are eye doctors, who don't extend the courtesy of  standing up to bid you goodbye, and you're already sitting when they make their appearance.  I think they're short though--therefore the Napoleonic Complex.

Tightrope

Nik Wallenda is presently about half way through his wire walk on the
Discovery Channel.  I can't turn it off, but I can't stay in the room either.  There is a 10 second delay if he falls.  He's wearing elkskin shoes, I  read, but also blue jeans---they seem so binding somehow.  I'll be glad when it's over.
         Postscript:     Nik made it across, but it looks as if Don Draper has fallen into the gorge.

Summer Slime

Summer is here, despite the threat of continuous thunderstorms and night time low temperatures.  So when are the snails going to leave my driveway?

Assisted Suicide

     Why, oh why, would any organization, especially one aligned with healthy eating, want to be associated with  a Grilled Cheese Eating Contest?   Yet proceeds of such a display of coerced gluttony were received by the Rensselaer County Dairy Princess Committee. The winner in the men's category ate 19 sandwiches, the women's winner ate 11 sandwiches, and the youth category winner ate 11 sandwiches.  No one could possibly believe that the consumption of so many cheese sandwiches could be a healthy choice, and most would agree that definite harm could result from the ingestion of so many sandwiches of any type, and perhaps in particular those including cheese.  Mayor Bloomberg is waging a losing battle.

May I quote you?

"Everything is awful, always."