Deja Vu, kinda

September 1974

She couldn't wait for the bus to come,
Having waited half her life,
Thrilled and anxious to join her cousins
On their journey from home to school.
Kindergarten, only a half-day then,
 Started on a Wednesday.
She returned tired but pleased with the day.
Thursday was much the same,
Still excited, but exhausted at the end.
Friday she tumbled off the bus,
Relieved at the close of the week.
  Monday morning, when awakened for school,
She cried out, in shock and disbelief,
"You mean I have to go back!
I don't really like school---it's too noisy there!"

"Lost Shaker of Salt"

Kindergarten Week Two

  "I can't go to school today," he said.
 "Why not?" asked the adult voice.
  He tried to explain, as best he could,
  Not yet having reached five years of age.
  "Because I lost something,
   And I have to look for it."
  "What did you lose?" the questioner persisted.
  Sobbing now, he answered:
 " I don't know what it is that I lost.
   I only know I can't find it."

Boys will be....?

Does it seem a natural progression of depravity to go from blowing up snakes and frogs with firecrackers to mutilating puppies by nailing them to railroad tracks?  Especially since a perpetrator of the first atrocity is now  publicly  bragging about it in a newspaper column, with the assumption that it is a normal and even admirable part of growing up?  I recall a youth being arrested a few years ago for similar use of firecrackers, and he was considered a threat to society, since many youths who torture animal life move on to harming human beings.  It's too bad the statute of limitations has run out on a person who wants others to know about his sadism.  Same for shoplifting, which we are promised a recount of  in next week's column.  What an ass!

Volte-face

I feel that one is approaching.

Poison!

   The evidence shows the enemy is.......fructose.  And not necessarily high fructose either.  Fructose, found in fruits and vegetables.  Drink too much orange juice or tomato juice and the fructose contained, especially in liquid form, will assault your liver.  Sugar, fructose--they're going to kill us.  That is why diabetes is on the increase---too damn much fructose.  Childhood obesity, and diabetes, may well  be attributed in part to that recent trend where parents were pouring apple juice down their kids' throats, thinking it was healthy.  Drink water, drink milk, (low-fat), eat one orange.  Rejoice: your liver will thank you. 

Shop this!

Yesterday when I opened my email, there was a coupon offer, from BonTon.  It was a  coupon good for $50 if you spent $100.  But it could  be used on that day only.  As usual, there were about a thousand exclusions, too many to read, but I decided to give the coupon a try anyway. I hate to bother with those cents-off coupons, but $50 reeled me in.  So I hied myself off to the Bon Ton store, and bought roughly $200 worth of merchandise which was on sale for $100.  I presented the $50 coupon, nothing was excluded from the discount, and so ended up paying $50 for all the stuff.  It was the first day of school:  everyone must have already done their shopping because the store was almost empty of customers, kind of had that over-with atmosphere....

O, the horror!

That's all.  Just the horror of it all.