It rocked the Faculty Room

Anonymous Note:
    PROLOGUE TO THE PREFACE, serving as a Preamble to the program which will act as an Overture for next spring's prolusion to the exordium
     With respect to the aforementioned, let us be constantly and vigilantly reminded again to refrain from prostituting our God-given ability to indulge in the excising of our thoughts via our linguistic capacities.  To prevent the birth of such an illegitimate offspring as the overworked cliche, be sure therefore to keep your shoulder to the wheel, your nose to the grindstone, and your hand on the throttle.
     If all concerned will faithfully adopt such an uncompromising position, we shall certainly be able to prevent impregnation stemming from the rapacity of the overworked, yet fertile, cliche.
      Once more, therefore, you are requested to gird your loins and resist any such temptations as the too-pregnant pause, and the resulting complications of an unfortunate, though ofttimes all too necessary, abortive attempt.  Bear in mind that any such miscegenation  must as an integral consequence give rise to intercourse which will have as its unfortunate outcome the necessity to next spring face the then too lately asked query, "How did it really happen?"