For the birds

Last summer there were reports of birds falling dead from the sky. The media ran with the stories, and while awaiting toxicology reports that never seemed to come, posited various theories as to what might have caused the birds to, essentially, drop dead. Struck by lightning maybe, seems plausible. Bird are in the sky, so is lightning, the 2 forces could meet. The birds may have been scared to death by the thunder, was another theory. Or , even more shocking, perhaps the birds were frightened to death by fireworks displays. If one bird heard a loud noise that stopped his heart, might that not have spread to the rest of his flock and they all fell dead too. But in this neck of the woods, there has been an area plagued by huge flocks of birds-blackbirds, starlings- and the city has tried every means to discourage them, including ultra-loud explosions beneath their gathering sites, and all it does is move them from one stand of trees to another, and the next day they're back. When I was a child, I remember a gentleman farmer who lived nearby who would shoot pigeons perched on the roof of his barn. If he shot a pigeon, that one was sure to fall dead, but I don't remember any other birds sitting nearby the shot bird, to fall dead from the loud explosion of the shotgun. And then----I read that a later bird group death was attributed to government sanctioned poisoning because they were destroying the livelihood by eating planted seeds. They were nuisance birds, not pretty at all, starlings, I believe, and so they had to die. BUT, we don't need to worry about the nice birds dying such a grisly death because the poison laid down for the offending birds was applied to food that is eaten exclusively by the bad birds. Really. We have birdfeeders in our back yard and it sure seems that all varieties of birds eat all varieties of food. Woodpeckers eat the seeds when there aren't any bugs nearby, the big birds eat the little seeds, the little birds eat the big seeds, maybe not their first choice but what's available. If I had some of that poisoned seed exclusive to the nuisance birds, and I spread it near my birdfeeder.........?

Really lost in transition

While I was reading the newspaper the other day (right away you know I'm an old person), I came across the inquiring reporter column. She had asked someone how hard he was going to fight for some cause or other. His answer as printed----"To the nail." Now I don't know if that's what he actually said. My guess would be that's what the reporter heard, and had no idea of what "tooth and nail" means. Both terms do sound alike, and no one cares what is meant anyway. Ask a question. Get an answer. That's the idea, right.

Foiled Again

Whenever I go for a doctor's visit, I fully intend to ask lots of questions and completely explain whatever set of symptoms or condition has brought me to the office. However, that never really happens. The doctor is rushed, or focused on "just the facts," and I usually go along with it, kind of muttering that I guess I feel okay, basically, and I'll just agree to whatever he or she says. Today was to be different. I'd been having some symptoms in my eye that didn't seem to fit what had been previously diagnosed. I mentally prepared a summary of how I'd been feeling and the strange sensations that were sporadically appearing. The doctor entered the room in all his suntanned--just back from vacation--glory. In response to his opening "How are you?", I began to collect my prepared thoughts, beginning with "Well, I have a series of questions." I got as far as the "Well...." and he jumped right in with "Glad to hear it." AND SO IT WENT.

LIE TO ME-- PLEASE!

I watched the new and reportedly highly acclaimed "Lie to Me" last night. It went like this:
Crime psychologist interviewer: " Did you rape Paula Pillowlips?"
Suspect: "No, I did not."
CPI: "You're lying."
Suspect: "How can you tell?"
CPI: "The corners of your mouth turned down when you denied it."
Suspect: "OK, I did it."

Ophthalmologist visit

The eye doctor who I regularly see referred me to another ophthalmologist, who specializes in cataract surgery and Lasik treatment. When Dr. Z. walked into the room he asked me what I was hoping for. I said good news of some sort. "Well, he said, there is no good news. Just look at the mess the political process is." This was at the time when the 2 major parties were agonizing over their choice of candidate. Dr. Z. continued on to say that he thought a better way would be for a panel of educated people, say Princeton graduates, to select a person they thought was qualified to be president and name him as the party candidate, and what did I think of that? I said it didn't sound very democratic, and he responded that democracy wasn't working. He didn't really help me with my vision problems either.

Poverty in real time

I never thought I would witness something like this, but a few weeks ago, I was in the home of a woman who was chopping up a coffee table to feed the wood stove. She and her three children had recently moved from one upstate NY county to another and were awaiting assistance for heating oil. In the meantime the temperature had dropped and the mobile home they lived in was cold and getting colder. There in the corner was a back-up woodstove, but there was no wood supply or money to have any delivered. So she resorted to using a hammer to chop up a small table, and used the kids' old homework papers to get the fire started. What she would feed the stove for the next 4 days until fuel was delivered I never found out. I did return later to bring a smoke detector. I hope she doesn't need it.