Pre-Fall

Don't care what the calendar says.  Fall happened today.

A Heavier Fog

     The fog may come on little cat feet and sit on its haunches, watching.  But grief pounces at unexpected times and its immensity takes your breath away.

Decadence

Sad truth:  no one in this family knows how to "fold in" a meringue.  Tasted ok though.   Top picture:  "The Silver Palate Cook Book"  recipe for Decadent Chocolate Cake, baked by Danny in 1992.  Bottom picture:  Decadent Chocolate Cake reprised, baked July 24, 2017.  Baker remains anonymous.

Damn Emulsifier!

There is only one other person  alive who could recognize this scene: a slice of bread before and after being folded into quarters and eaten in a single bite.  They didn't make bread like they used to.

Remembrance of Things Past ----- Gloomy Hostas

 These are some of the Hostas in my yard.  We planted them here and I care for and respect them, but in truth I think they are a dreary and sad-looking plant, harking back to a bygone age.
    The sight of Hostas triggers a long-ago memory of most likely the first time I ever saw this plant.  The memory is rather somber and even boring in nature because the hostas grew in my grandmother's garden, a garden long untended by her, and one she viewed, throughout her lifetime with her grandchildren,  only from her chair by the kitchen window.  Her flower garden was on the side of her house and we kids never played in that area the many times we visited when we were little.
    Weather permitting, we were of course allowed, even encouraged,  to play outside and were free to roam all over the considerable acreage, even into the woods behind the barn.  But we stayed away from Nanny's flower garden, out of respect and also because she was always there at the window.  Her garden area held a few shrubs and bushes, and a quite impressive, at the time, peony bush, whose progress she would comment on from her viewpoint.
   But those Hostas---bordering the vague garden edge like mournful sentries.  They never seemed to be in full flower, always looking as if they were either about to bloom or to go into dormancy for the season.  When we visited other relatives, all but a few quite elderly in our eyes, the walkways to their houses invariably  were edged with purple hosta plants.  But not true purple either; they were always too wishy-washy to bloom in true color.
   Thinking about it, these hostas in my yard may well be some of the same plants from Nanny's garden.  The plants alongside my house came from Matt's house on New Turnpike Road, quite possibly transplants from the old homestead.  After Ann's death, we had to dispose of the property and Dave was clearing the side lot of accumulated underbrush when he came upon  hosta plants,  and re-homed them to Valley Falls.  The 3 hostas by our well came from K-Mart when I had to redeem one of their gift card premium offers, and didn't know what else to get.  There are 2 more "accidental" hostas which Dorothy bundled in with a Honeysuckle bush she gave me.  They are on the other side of the house.  Each year, I plan to consolidate those 2 with the ones above, but have not gotten around to it "yet."
   

SNL Press Secretary Outfit

  How about a red shift dress with a ruffle at the hem.  Too easy.

Ailing Cat and Car

     Maybe has had no appetite all week. She doesn't seem interested in food.  Looks at her dish, but doesn't want the food.   All week, I've been driving around with the lighted icon of a wrench on the dashboard. I think it means maintenance of some sort.  Maybe just an oil change.

"A boy's will is the wind's will''

 "And the thoughts of youth are long, long thoughts."

When I told him today about the party and the kids' swimming in the pool, he remarked that when he used to swim in the creek near his childhood home, he was the quickest and most agile of the swimmers and no one could catch him so they called him Monk Diardo.  (or something like that. I'll have to ask him the name again.

    

Living on the Edge

Taking meetings with unknown people for uncertain reasons can cause a lot of trouble and can be a very unwise and dangerous undertaking. Just ask the families of those 4 young men found dead in Pennsylvania.

The Lab and the Lie

  I can't sleep so I'll talk about myself. Not b/c I'm ego-driven, but I need to record things before I forget .
   I was referred to a nephrologist after my kidney stone episode, and I still go for annual check-ups, though the doctor has recently changed from Goldstein to Arora.  I have a script for bloodwork in advance of my office visit there, which is next week. So, while Dave was at the VA today, I took the opportunity to visit the Hoosick Street lab. I'm more than  half-way through my Lyme Disease regimen, and felt so tired this morning that I figured the lab results may reflect my condition, but thought if any of the results were skewed because of that, I'd deal with an explanation at a later time.
   When I got to the lab and handed the nurse my script, she looked at it and asked if I'd fasted for the 8 hours noted on the script. This is where the lie part comes in.  In the limited time and the uncertainty of my going, I'd neglected to look at the script. So I said yes, I'd fasted, though only a few hours earlier, I'd had a Van's Waffle with blueberries for breakfast. If some of the readings were high, I'd attribute it to Lyme Disease and just ask to have the test repeated.
    This evening, I checked my St. Peter's Patient Portal, and my results from earlier today were posted.  All the readings were well within normal limits, except for low (19) level of Vitamin D.
   Conclusion:  (1) The Lyme disease, antibiotics, and breakfast did not affect the lab tests, and (2) All that time spent outdoors did not raise my Vitamin D level to normal limits, but served only to provide sustenance for Lyme ticks.

Add one more bad TV commercial:

The Lia commercial where the kids are playing around the tires of the cars the parents are touting.  Not a good idea, is it, to let little kids be comfortable playing near the wheels of automobiles. (And besides, the "Puppies and Babies Not Included" line is irritating as all heck.)

In the Lyme Enlightenment

 According to Channel 10 FB, a  fatal case of Powassan is reported in Saratoga County.  I commented, with kudos to those who discovered it, unfortunate as it is, because most doctors seem reluctant to even test for Lyme disease.
   A reply came back, from a Registered Nurse at Albany Hospital.  Does it seem logical to you?
         "The reason we don't like to jump the gun and test ---It takes a long time for there to be a detectable level.  If we test everyone, the majority would have  a false negative which may cause them to brush off the vague symptoms.  A lot of times, a Western Blot won't come back positive until there is irreversible damage."
     Seems like a case of circular reasoning here.  A person has some symptoms, goes to a doctor (or medical professional.) A Lyme test is ordered and comes back negative. So there is a negative finding, but the patient should be observed anyway, if told it may be a false negative.  The "vague symptoms" then are not being treated anyway--until they escalate into something more serious.  The same as if the test were not given.
     And if  the Western Blot test doesn't show positive until there is irreversible damage, how does not having the test be of help in the first place?
   Flawed as her reasoning may be, it nevertheless seems to be the protocol in place.  The patient's symptoms are not considered worthy of treatment (antibiotic therapy) until there is a positive test result.  The testing is discouraged because the patient may be positive but the test shows negative. If the symptoms don't justify either antibiotics or testing, how sick will the patient have to get in order to receive medical help?
  So what to do?  What to do?

Distasteful Commercials

   Two such come to mind:
         1) Aspen Dental simulated bank robbery
         2)Man in bathroom with his young daughter--he's instructing her how to shave her legs.  Eww.
         

Lilies of the Valley

   The Barrett twins and their close friends growing up called themselves the
"Lilies of the Valley."  One still remains, according to Kay's  obituary.
    Pictured is a random Lily growing just outside the Valley.  It must have been a gift from Dorothy.

Who cares--I mean, really, who does?

   When I recently tried to schedule an appointment with one of my eye doctors, the office said he had left the practice. Rather suddenly, it seems.  It turns out that he, a partner there, is suing the other 3 partners.
    After Dr. Weiner joined the group, in 2012, he set up a protocol to treat glaucoma.  As it turned out, that protocol drew too much of the patient-care away from the others, and while Dr. W. was benefitting, the others were losing income. So they had a meeting inducing him to sign an agreement to stifle his protocol. Or else. Evidently he did so, but then filed an addendum alleging patient vision would suffer without his protocol. So the other 3 partners fired him.  And he retaliated with a lawsuit.
    He contends that without his protocol, the vision of patients will suffer, and he is holding on to some of the patients' eye images, apparently to prove his point, maybe in court if it comes to that. He has refused requests to return the images to the practice.
    I have had, over the years, extensive treatments there, including at least 6 surgeries and prescriptions for conditions, including the one at issue here. Which makes me wonder how much of my treatment is a matter of who adopts what protocols to whose financial advantage.  And where are all the images of my eyes?
 

vtech Bad Bluetooth!

I don't think it's me:

For several years, we've had .a vtech telephone set of 3 phones.  Recently, one of the phones failed, so faint as to be inaudible.  So a generous benefactor sent us a replacement phone.  Same brand, same model DS6522.
  The new phone arrived the other day. Just open the package, insert the battery, and we're good.  You'd think, but no.
 First the replacement phone needs to be charged for 12 hours. Okay.  Then
  "Each handset must be registered with the telephone base before use.
    When first purchased and properly charged, each handset shows
 "TO REGISTER HS...and ...SEE MANUAL alternately. Charge the handset before registering it to the telephone base."
1) To register a handset:  Place the new handset in the telephone base.
2) Wait for 10 seconds.  The handset shows REGISTERING...then REGISTERED and you hear a beep when process is completed, about 90 seconds.
  If handset displays FAILED  (and it did)  try the registration process again.

Note: You cannot register a handset if any other system handset is in use.
           If you have not set the date and time for the telephone system, the handset will prompt you to set the date and time after it is registered to the base. To skip setting, press CANCEL.

DEREGISTER HANDSETS
If you want to replace a handset, you must deregister all handsets that are registered to the telephone base.Then register each handset individually.
   TO DEREGISTER ALL HANDSETS, :
      1) Press and hold FIND HANDSET on the telephone base for 10 seconds. (I will add this is etched in small letters in silver on silver behind the phone. BUT I FOUND IT!!  Until the IN USE light turns on and starts flashing.
    2) Immediately press FIND HANDSET again. You must press FIND HANDSET while the IN USE light is still flashing. it flashes for about 5 sec.
   3) All handsets show TO REGISTER HS---and...SEE MANUAL alternately when the deregistration process completes.  Takes about 10 sec to complete.
  You can deregister all handsets even if their batteries are depleted.

        Well, brain fog or not, steps taken necessary or not, and I don't even get all the terminology, though I think the SEE MANUAL icon refers to the vtech manual from the original phone system.
          I THINK THE PHONE SYSTEM MAY BE WORKING.

Rise and Fall, 3 Years' Worth

   Thanks to Facebook and its Looking Back feature, I'm reminded that 3 years ago today, I had a Total Knee Replacement on my left knee, a year following a successful right-knee TKR.  These surgeries changed my life: walking and, even worse, standing, had become so difficult and painful that I would almost certainly be unable to walk today without some type of mechanical assistance.  Now I can walk at will, at least for a few miles, pedal an exercise bike, and stand for a normal length of time.  And I say without any attempt at self-aggrandizement, that I've been doing so since a few weeks or less after each surgery, and with only minimal discomfort right after surgery.  Now  I am completely unaware of my knees, either their  biologic or artificial components,with the exception of kneeling on a hard surface, which can be problematic anyway. The orthopedist said kneeling on the TKR's is okay, but I'd rather not.  And of course artificial joints don't last forever, so in about 15 years...?  I take no credit for my success story, except maybe for having chosen a skilled and capable orthopedist, but the 3-Years of Looking Back on my positive "reconstruction" also brings to mind the beginning of the destruction of another.
     My surgery had been scheduled several months in advance at a hospital in Troy, so it would have been natural for Dave to have driven me there early on the morning of surgery.  But due to the vagaries of the Health Care System and who gets paid how much for what, Ortho NY suddenly refused to perform surgeries at Samaritan, and I was notified that my surgery would be at St. Peter's in Albany, with arrival time before dawn.
    That's how I am now reminded of Dave's condition at the time. He had developed peripheral neuropathy in his feet, especially his left foot.  That was his only diagnosis at the time.   He still drove--all over the area, several times a day, but because of the time and distance, and my state of mind, I was reluctant for him to drive me. But it turned out he had to, and did. He said he didn't use his left foot when driving anyway. And he drove me home, 2 days later.  I may have been a little more stressed than was called for, but we had no other problems.
   That was in July of 2014 and his condition stayed about the same until June 17 of the next year, 2015.  Since then, he has not walked unaided: a cane which did not help, then a walker, and next, having lost all mobility, confinement to a wheelchair.  
  In looking back on my concern for my own self interest back on that July day, I must have known his physical capabilities were not what they were and sensed they were not what  they should be, but would never have anticipated his present-day condition.   Ironically enough, I suppose, I am now able to do the walking for two.

Death of A Cousin

   The Barrett twins, daughters of my father's sister Kate.  They used to visit us fairly regularly, after my parents bought the home they grew up in.  They were somewhere midway between us kids and our parents' generation.  They were born in 1920 and my mother was born in 1905.  I remember visiting their mother's house in the "luxury section of Lansingburgh."   I knew it was upperclass because of the "boulevard" dividing the street they lived on. One time, while we kids sat on the couch in their living room, we (at least my sister and I) were given some stuffed animals of the girls' that their mother still had.  I remember getting a little black dog with a red collar, which I kept a long time, was probably still in my old house when I moved out.
   The twins were the youngest in their family, and some of the older Valley Falls people I knew would comment on them from time to time, always in the most favorable terms.  They were invariably cheerful and very pretty.  My mother really liked them.  I remember kind of veiled references to their older sisters, probably overheard in conversations between my mother and Frank's wife, Mary.  The references were hushed; I think alcoholism and/or nervous breakdown problems may have been issues, subjects unspoken of in those days. And it could have been that Elizabeth ran a nursing home and may have become a patient there.  I could straighten it out if I could just ask my mother or Aunt Mary.  Now forever lost in the dust of time.
    When we moved to Valley Falls it was my mother's doing.  She had learned that "the house" was going to be sold, and my poor mother must have been desperate for a  place of her own where her kids could go to school, where she could own animals, and plant a garden, and where she wouldn't be isolated in a rented home in the country to fend for herself all day when her husband was at work. Life was hard for her; this house,the first house, out of the 5 where she lived in her early marriage years, was the first with electricity.
     I recall my mother sitting at her kitchen table, writing letters to make things happen.Letters to the seller--- How much was the sale price?   How much would the down payment be?  Letter to her brother Matt--Could he loan enough for the down payment?  Questions my father would have been too proud to ask, for  a transaction he thought was hopeless. But it worked out.  I think the house sold for $1500, or maybe $1200. I know Matt lent the money for the down payment.  The letter M was on our calendar at regular intervals. I asked my mother what it meant, and she told me it was the payback schedule, probably for $250 or so, but a lot of money back then, especially for our family.
    I believe this to be the reason for the sale:  Pete Barrett was mean, and hard to live with. When the twins married, they loved their mother and evidently wanted to salvage some peace for her.  I think she lived with one or the other after that. One son-in-law traveled to different cities on business, and we had a series of post cards Kate would send, as they took her with them on their travels.  My mother was so impressed with that. Of course I'm probably sketchy on a lot of details, but I think when they "separated" Pete moved upstreet into that large brick building across from Spences/ Schroders.
  When we moved in, the original house had been added to, the section with no basement, only a dirt crawl space underneath.  We kids used to scare ourselves, and others, with what might have lain beneath in that dark, creepy cavern of dirt.
   The addition was built as a bar which Pete Barrett ran,  Above it was a kind of suite built for the twins.  There was a large central room and 2 smaller individual bedrooms, one for each of the girls.  I had always hoped and fantasized that those rooms could be the same for Dorothy and me.  We even picked out which we wanted:  Dorothy chose the one in front with the view of the river.  Those hopes were squashed when Helen came to live with us, and I confess I resented it because of our lost dream.  When my father did the rooms over, and stripped the wallpaper off, the bare plaster walls  underneath were decorated with the twins' carefully scrolled autographs and pictures of flowers.
  Once, when we were older, I had a conversation with one of the twins about their days living in the house, such favorable memories they had.  They used to take the train to Troy, to college and later  to work,  and then for fun, often go back for the night time happenings.  They were pretty and popular,had many friends, and enjoyed life. She said one night, as often happened, a friend was sleeping over.  I think she said they were in the upstairs  bedroom of the main house when the friend awoke screaming, scared to death.  A train had passed by in the night and its headlight reflected on the bedroom wall and along with the noise and the whistle, the poor girl had thought the world was coming to an end.
   The last conversation I remember having, I think it was with  Kay, was at Gene Madigan's wedding, when she asked me to settle a difference she was having with her husband.  It was about identifying which was  the sister of Gene's bride, and which was her mother. She was right and I told her so.  She said, "Men!"
   They always connected with marriages and deaths in the family, via mail after they moved away.  The last contact we had was when one of the twins sent us a Troy Record clipping with picture of one of Marilyn's accomplishments.
  The good old days...
 
 

Rx : Incompetency

   So, in accordance with my Ellis Discharge sheet, but more because I was unsure of a number of symptoms or the chronology of the Lyme Disease, I called the office of my Primary Care doctor.  He was not in, but I could schedule an appointment with another doctor.  My doctor is nice enough and likable, but 3 out of the last 4 times I called, he was not available. I haven't seen him in several years; he did the requisite pre-surgical exam for my first knee surgery, but was out sick for the second knee surgery, and that was 3 years ago.  So I agreed to see  Dr. Katherine Herdzik.   That was my first mistake of the day.

    Or rather, no, it wasn't because earlier in the day I had attempted to get a copy of my Lyme Titer test from Ellis, which they had told me was positive for Lyme Disease.  So I called Ellis Emergent Care, the number they had given me to call for results if I wanted all results, positive or negative.  I've seen way too many errors and omissions to accept an open-ended call for results, "only if positive."

But when I called Ellis, they said I had to call Medical Records.  They contract out to MRO, an organization for that purpose.  I called and they told me I first had to submit a written request, which would start the process.  I said I needed the results now, in case I went to my primary doctor or emergency room.  Too bad, but...So I called Ellis back and said I would pick the results up in their office.  A doctor there told me they cannot release results to the patient.  "Really?" Last year when I was there, I was handed a multi-page report of every blood test, X-ray and lab test they had done that day---without my even asking. I was quite impressed.  But the doctor said that was a mistake; they shouldn't have done that.  He didn't feel that my report had fallen into the abyss, as I had said.  He said if my doctor's office or the ER called Ellis, they would fax the results to them.  So the report IS there. But I'm out of argument---too many at the same time. Plus, I'm extremely tired.

    I called my primary office, advised in advance how to get a copy of my Lyme test, and kept my appointment.  I arrived just at 12. Only 1 other patient was in the office and she was in a lengthy discussion at the intake window, about 20 minutes or so. It may have been about insurance coverage, but could be she just wanted to talk.  I heard her say she was born in 1935; it gets lonely you know.

   Anyway, I finally get called into an  exam room, where the tech takes my weight (OK, I guess), my BP (only slightly elevated) and my temperature (98.6).

She rather apologetically says she has to enter a number of responses on her computer, and she does so:Yes, I have in my home Smoke Detectors and Carbon Monoxide detector also, I don't smoke or use drugs, blah, lah, blah. and oh yes, if  I were to start hemorrhaging I would accept a blood transfusion. She was quite

efficient and personable so I didn't mind.

    Enter the Doctor Herdzik.  Kind of a scrawny figure with a pageboy hairdo and decked out in a 1970's era tan summer  pantsuit.  Of course, as par for the course, she heads for the computer and starts mumbling things.  Like "not there."

From my location in the chair by the door, I try to help, saying "Maybe the report hasn't arrived yet."  She answers that she has a copy of the Lyme report, but her computer screen is wiped clean, with none of the info just recorded available. She never did recover from that, though I offered to fill her in with the details of my symptoms if not my religion and fire safety devices.  She pretty much fussed in the direction of the computer, came nowhere near where I was sitting except to squeeze by my chair on her escape route.  She reiterated generalities about Lyme Disease, and I told her I could accept the fatigue, and aches of Lyme, but had been deeply concerned about the severe and spreading fiery pain along my entire leg after a single mosquito bite Wed. evening. Lyme can affect the nerves and cause itching, she tells me, and states she would not prescribe anything different from the Doxycycline I was taking.  And she said nothing about a follow-up appointment either.   F.U.
  She did say that the Lyme Titer report said I had "all the characteristics" for Lyme Disease.  She told me that having one episode of Lyme does not prevent me from having it again, But I am just concerned with getting through this cycle for now.  Help me now, damnit.
    I wonder if this office will be open much longer, with all the urgent and ergent facilities springing up all over the place. So many of the  incompetent and unmotivated will find increasing employment 

A Day

   It was fairly early in the morning, and the summer day was invigorating, still with a slight chill in the air.   I had met a friend at the far end of the porch of my old house and we were walking on the sidewalk in front of the house. I don't know where we were heading to or why we were going, but we were in casual conversation until just as we reached the metal gate which my father had installed, we heard my name called in the loudest voice possible, frightening in its urgency. It was coming from the upstairs front bedroom.  I took off in response.  My friend stayed put, showing no desire to come with me.  I ran to the front door, pulled open the old wooden screen door, and turned the knob on the heavy front door, fully expecting to find that door locked.  But it opened and I ran upstairs to the source of the emergency.
      I reached the place  where the calls for help were coming from, and it was not the upstairs bedroom in my old house, and neither was it an emergency.  It was 4:30 a.m. I was in my present house.  And no one was outside waiting for me.

Formication

Not a typo:  the 4th letter IS an m.  Go ahead---look it up.

Maybe says...

...While your flowers are beautiful, Rosemary, they do tend to be in my way.

Tick-history 2017

In 2016, I was bitten by ticks a few times, and on the advice of a close relative, sought medical help.  The first visit was to a walk-in facility on Hoosick Street where the PA said it was too early and too late to do any testing, so nothing was done. My second visit, a few months later, was to Ellis Emergent Care where they did a blood test, which came back negative.
   This year, 2017, I've been bitten by or had crawling on me so many ticks it became habitual to just pick them out, or off, apply alcohol to the assaulted area, and pretty much forget about it.  But on April 10, I found a tick so embedded that I couldn't extract the entire tick.  I was more concerned than usual because it was the day we had a new water softener installed and I missed a shower that day, and thought the tick may have had plenty of time to become so burrowed.  I went to Emurgent Care in Mechanicville and the PA, Laura,  prescribed antibiotics, Doxycycline for 7 days, not for the tick bite, but for the inflamed area where I had tried unsuccessfully to gouge the remaining pieces out. She did not order any Lyme tests.  (She did not attempt to remove the embedded part, saying the toxins are in the tick's body, not the head, and it would come out when the scab fell off, which did happen.  I had wanted it removed though, which is why I'd tried so hard to get it out.)
    The second week in June, I noticed one of the bites was sore, itchy, and was developing what looked suspiciously like the notorious bullseye rash, (Pictured below) so when I had a few hours free, on June 16, I went to Mechanicville Emurgent Care where the PA, a different one this time, looked at and measured the suspect area, and wrote a 7-day prescription for Doxycycline. And she said the redness around the bite mark was not from the bite, but was because I'd scratched it.  I said I had not scratched it, but she didn't appear to believe me.
     Not prescribed long enough, my trusted advisor told me, and indeed I was feeling symptoms I could say were suspicious---sleepiness, itching scalp, more intense than usual neuropathy in my feet, dry eyes, sneezing fits, and a nose that would not and still does not stop running.  So on another day with a few free hours,June 27,  I found my way to Ellis Emergent Care.
       There I saw a PA who seemed a little tired of the whole tick bite nonsense, said, although I certainly had not asked, that he could not write a prescription based on my symptoms, but that he would order  a Titer Lyme test. I had told him I was concerned that any infection, such as Lyme, could affect my TKR, that my orthopedist had said to take antibiotics to prevent infection.  The PA said while that may be true for dental work, it would not be true for Lyme disease.  I'm sure he's wrong, but said nothing.  We can't wipe out all the ignorance in the world, and especially not in the medical community.
    Two days later, Ellis called, said the blood test was positive for Lyme Disease, and ordered a 21-day prescription for Doxycline.  Deprecatingly enough, the PA had written  Wood Tick Bite (also know as Dog Tick) on my discharge sheet and the care sheet I received was all about wood ticks.  I may not be a medical expert, but I certainly know the difference between a Wood Tick and the varieties of Deer Tick,
      I don't know which tick is the culprit.  I tend to blame the tiny, poppyseed sized tick, because that itched the most.  The second PA I saw said the venom can cause generalized itching, such as on my scalp.  I almost hope this is true as then it may go away during the course of the medication.  Now if I can just keep awake...

Water Level 7/1/17

Two views of behind our house.  In all these years, never saw so much water.